So it has been a little over a month since I last posted. So many things have happened but nothing I am talking about yet. I will tell you some of what we have done...
Truth be told, we have been resting a LOT. So many appointments catches up with you. We knew September would bring a mass of appointments so we took it easy. Today is September 11th, and so far this month Aaliyah has had 5 therapy sessions and 1 doctors visit. All is going well and we have more coming so when we are done with them for the month I will update than.
September 7th was a very special day in so many ways. Most importantly Aaliyah turned one that day. I wasn't so much a birthday as a celebration, a celebration of life that was almost lost. A celebration of milestones. A celebration of unity. A celebration of family. Aaliyah will get a separate blog post once I have her birthday pictures.
The other side of the coin was that it had been one year since we held our sweet angel Natalia. One year since I held her tiny hand between my fingers and told her she was perfect. One year since I looked at her tiny feet and knew I would never see her walk. One year since I cried knowing that this would be the last time in this life to hold her. One year since I kissed her tiny head and said I loved her. One year of laying in that recovery bed, sleeping with her and knowing I would never do it again. One year that I didn't get to watch her grow. One year I didn't get to watch her smile. One year I didn't get to watch her laugh when her dad made silly faces. One year of not seeing her interact with her sister. One year of not seeing her try her first food. One year of not seeing her roll over. One year of not seeing her lift her head. One year of not seeing her reach out to us. One year of not holding her in my arms and just enjoying the moment. One year that part of me felt like it was missing. One year of missing my sweet baby girl.
Natalia,
It has been one year since I last held you, and in those 365 days not one has gone by that I didn't miss you. I will always miss you. You are one of the greatest gifts I have ever received and will ever receive. No one and nothing can ever make up for the piece of my heart you hold. I will always say your name, because you are my daughter and you matter. I will always protect your memory, because you matter. I will always keep you a part of our lives because you matter. I love you my sweet angel and always will because you matter.
Love your Mami forever and always.
