My Journey As a Mom to Three Special Girls: In Gods Hands Part 1

How often do we hear that, in Gods hands? It is something I try to live by. Yes we have choices but God is always present. Even in those moments when we feel alone. Around this exact time last year I found out people very close to me were expecting. My brother and his fiance, also my aunt/daughter (Blog for another day), I had just come to accept that if I wasn't going to get pregnant I would be okay. I wasn't willing to try other means for my own reasons. It was in Gods hands and I was blessed even if I didn't have kids of my own.

TWINS!!

Secretly I suspected I might be but after two very early losses I refused to get excited, refused to share. Than it got to the point DH and I knew I had to test. Two at home test on Friday saying yes I was. One Saturday morning again saying yes, went took a blood test. Still not believing. On Monday the results and yes I was! Fast forward to February 23rd, one amazing ultrasound tells me it is twins!! Leaving it in Gods hand had left me with an amazing gift! Two babies that were identical!Twins tends to be considered a higher risk, identical twins slightly higher, etc. So I was going to be seeing a lot of doctors in the next few months.

We started to get excited waiting for the ultra sound telling us boys or girls. On May 14th the same day I found out it was girls, I was also told there was starting to be a very big size difference. I was scared and had a bad feeling for Baby A. I was on a journey as a mom to two girls.

May 29th I went in because I had been vomiting a lot from a migraine. From the looks on the us techs face I knew things were not looking good. I tried to get those around me to accept it but everyone kept trying to be positive. In my heart I knew my baby A who by now I felt was my Natalia would not make it, but while afraid I knew Baby B, my little Aaliyah would. Just few days later on June 4th my life changed again. I was told she no longer had a heartbeat. This was the start of my journey as mom to two special girls. An angel princess and an earthbound princess.