Baby It's Cold Outside!

So while many people hate the cold and snow.... I LOVE IT!! The verdict is still out on Aaliyahs reaction to the snow...We had some snow this winter but nothing like we had the weekend of February 8th! We were pretty much snowed in till Monday! I have some pictures I would like to share.

LOVE THE SNOW!!!

Those Minor Holidays

I have never been big on Holidays or even birthdays. To me if family was getting together and food was involved I was happy. Add in gifts and like most people I like them.  Now I am a mom, not just an aunt, surrogate parental figure, etc...  I am a mom, I have my own little earthbound twin Aaliyah here and my angel twin Natalia. I want to make more of it for them. So I am trying, I still snicker a little but I will try to make traditions for them. Most may not understand but Natalia will ALWAYS be included in everything. (Which gives me a whole other blog post idea.)

I from a young age refused to to make gifts for mothers and fathers day. It didn't make sense to me to be good that one day. To give them a gift that one day. I loved making random cards, pictures and so on for my mom. Never a daddys girl, more like an uncles girl. (Another blog idea there).

Valentines has never been that big for me. We actually prefer to order in, toss a blanket on the floor and watch a movie. For us that is heaven.

I plan on celebrating most holidays with outfits for her. Why? Because I love clothes. For the most part I use clothes we have but you can always find a cheap outfit for holidays. Even if it is a simple t-shirt/onesie.

14 Days Of Valentine

I really don't have anything to say just pictures to share!

My Choices

My choices will be a post about things I am doing as a mother and why I feel it is right for me. In no way am I trying to say it is what a person SHOULD do.

1) Breastfeeding & Pumping

While I mainly pump for the most part, I am putting her to breast and I won't lie this one surprises me. I was  considering pumping, actually putting her to breast was not my cup of tea. Mind you I am still not okay with putting her to breast. It is awkward to say the least in large part because she is small and I am very big chested woman. I did it because it just seemed to work out for me and it was honestly best for her.

Now according to most who breastfeed it is a crime to do formula if breastfeeding is possible. I am not one of those people, because I understand that it just isn't always for a person. It wasn't for me but when you find out all the problems your child will face and how out of your hands it will be, you need some control. You need something that you can do for your child and only you can do. This is it for me.

Now I have way to much and am looking into milk sharing. :)

2) Making my own baby food

This is something I wanted to do for as long as I can remember. Don't ask me why I just did. I like it and am hoping starting in March I can take it to the next level. I am doing this for my Aaliyah, because I want to and can.

A lot of people keep saying to Baby Led Weaning that may work great for some kids but considering Aaliyah's delays and our concerns we don't feel it is right for us. Maybe with the next child we will consider it.

3) Cloth Diapers

Okay so this one is a BIG thing I wanted to do when I first found out I was pregnant. Than at 8wks I find out twins so I put it on a back burner. Than with everything that went down, I kind of forgot. I joined a co-op and they ran one for them . This go around, I have it and you know what I can and will do it.

4) Stay at Home Mom

Well this one is something I have wanted to do but didn't think I would. We talked a lot about it. Weighed the pros and cons. For our family, for our daughter we feel me being home is best. It isn't for everyone and there may be some sacrifices but it works for us in this  moment.

1, 2, and 3 are all very cost effective when you look at 4! So works for us on another level.

Now here is my two cents for what it is worth. You have to look at what works for you and your family! No one knows the inner workings of your family! You can tell someone what the benefits our to your choices if they do not feel they are right for them don't make them feel guilty.

Making your own baby food and cloth diapers. I really don't feel there is an argument there. Mind you I don't know I am new to all this!

Don't bash the mom who chooses to formula feed because she doesn't want to breast feed. Not that she can't but doesn't want to. It is her CHOICE, same as it is yours to breastfeed. For all you know there is a reason behind it that she doesn't feel okay with discussing.

Stay at home mom... Now there is a tricky one and honestly I again say do what works best for you! Don't judge the woman that chooses to work, or the woman who chooses to stay home. Everyone seems okay if the woman has no choice but to work or to stay home. Now choose to do one or the other and people have a lot to stay. SHUT UP! Live your life and do what works for you and your family because at the end of the day does anything else matter?

You can advocate for something and not insult a person for not seeing or doing things your way. Your way is not the only way, it is not the only way. I hate when some mothers make other mothers feel less of a mother because they don't make the same choices. 

This is from Lessons Learned In Life on Facebook

Just added this because someone shared it and it fits with this blog!

Another One of Those days

I am prepping this blog the day before because honestly it will be one of the hardest in my life. It is a year that I went in for a simple first ultrasound and found out surprise it's twins. Such a beautiful moment with a mostly happy ending.

Yes that day we heard that twins could be risky, but of course it didn't register in that moment. I just kept thing my ultimate childhood dream was coming true.

This will be a why me section...

Why did I lose my girl when she was so wanted?
Why was it my body handled the pregnancy well but I still lost her?
Why have other people managed to have twins just to hurt them? (In 2011 a mom stuck her identical twin infant daughters in her trunk and let them die. Also know of twins in foster care due to extreme neglect.)
Why couldn't she have made it a little longer? Just a few more weeks and maybe just maybe she would have made it.
Why if I did everything right did this happen to me?

This will be a Could I section...

Could I have done something different?
Could I have had more faith that she was going to make it?
Could I have pushed harder to look at them sooner?

This will be a Did I section...

Did I do something wrong?
Did I continue to work when I should have left?
Did I let the stress of work and life effect the girls?

Now that I have said that, I will say this...

Why because nothing comes with a guarantee. I did everything I could do. I wasn't really that stressed, annoyed more than stressed. I will be sad but celebrate this day as it should because despite the loss it is STILL a celebration of the day I found out I was carrying two precious lives inside of me. It was the day that my dream came true and my life changed yet again.

Our NICU Neuro Follow Up Recap

Okay so the appointment was not surprising, they told me what I knew already. Her gross motor skills are great a little ahead. Her cognitive skills are a little behind. Fine motor skills are not good but we are still wondering if her eyes are effecting her development. They also felt her social skills are behind but the question is why is it the Micro and Liss or is it just her being lazy?

Everything they suggested we do her pt and I had already discussed previously. Things we are working on, but hey at least is shows we are on the right track.

Aaliyah was not as cooperative as I would have liked. So they did not see as much as I would have liked. 

What cracked me up is when they were concerned about her weight... She is in the. 5th %. While she is at the bottom she has a very steady incline. Her pedi is happy and I'm happy. 3/4 of my family are tiny. 1/2 DHs family is petit. So they said if I wanted to see the nutritionist. I did and we talked. I told her how Aaliyah eats every two hours from 6am-9:30pm, bottles every two hours and breast 1-2x a day. Also that I started to introduce solids. Showed her Aaliyah weight from all her appts and her response... I am doing great and to keep on as I am. 

Her PT was happy about how it went and not surprised that Aaliyah didn't cooperate she says Aaliyah is just a determined little girl.

My Love of Dressing Up

My love of dressing up turned into a fun little tradition. For Halloween I did the 13 days of Halloween, for Christmas 12 days of Christmas. Currently doing the 14 Days of Valentine. I am going to post pictures for Halloween and Christmas and hold off on Valentines till the 14th.

Can you tell we are a pirate kind of family?

InSpire Me Photo Our Family Photograper

These days finding a photographer can be a lot easier with Facebook. That is how I met Maria, who knew I would end up with not just a photographer but a friend as well. Maria has managed to capture some amazing shots of our princess and of us.

So on to some fun pictures!

Newborn Session Part 1

Newborn Session Part2/Halloween

 Aaliyahs First Christmas

Valentines taken a week ago!

 

Check her out at InSpire Me Photo!